It’s been a while since I last tapped away at my keyboard, but today I felt compelled to share a little piece of my life – of being a new mum over 40 sans alcohol.
Now, before you start envisioning me as some kind of superhero with a cape made of burp cloths, let me set the record straight. I’m just a regular woman who, against all odds, found herself embarking on the motherhood journey at the fabulous age of 40. And here’s the kicker – I’m doing it all without the aid of my beloved glass of Shiraz.
What, No Wine?
“Why no wine?” you may ask. Well, the answer is simple – I value my sleep, and I need all the brain cells I can get to keep up with Little C. You see, while many new mums might turn to a glass of wine to unwind after a long day of nappy changes and lullabies, I’ve opted for a different approach. I’ve become a connoisseur of caffeine, mastering the art of sipping on my tea while juggling a baby, a dummy, and a smartphone.
But let’s not forget the real reason behind my teetotaler tendencies. Have you ever tried chasing a toddler around the house after a glass of Pinot Noir? It’s like participating in an obstacle course with invisible hurdles! I’ve witnessed enough wobbly walks and near misses with furniture to know that my coordination is best left unimpaired.
Persian Dinner Parties
Now, I can almost hear you thinking, “But what about those Persian dinner parties? How do you survive without a sip of aragh sagi (that’s hard stuff, like vodka)?” Well, I have a secret weapon – the art of diversion. I’ve become a master at distracting well-meaning friends with tales of Little C’s latest accomplishments, leaving them too enthralled to notice my empty glass.
And let’s not forget the unsolicited advice from fellow parents. “You should really try a glass of wine to relax,” they say, as if a splash of Merlot holds the key to solving all parenting woes. But I’m here to tell you, my fellow mums over 40, that there’s nothing more exhilarating than facing the challenges of motherhood with a clear head.
After all, in the mysterious world of Persian beauty secrets, the avoidance of alcohol is normal for fear of developing a face that could rival a prune. Some fear that sipping on a cosmopolitan might unleash the dark forces of dehydration, turning them into a creature with more wrinkles than a pug puppy.
In a land where pomegranates are revered, and saffron is practically a currency, the fountain of youth seems to come in the form of a mocktail. So, while the rest of the world might be toasting with Champagne, Persian women are sipping on mocktails, convinced that it’s the key to keeping those fine lines at bay.
So, as I raise my tiny human sporting a few more wrinkles than the average new mum, I raise my mocktail glass to all of you out there. Here’s to embracing the unexpected, and to finding joy in every sleepless night. After all, who needs alcohol when you’ve got baby giggles and baby lotion?
Until next time, stay caffeinated, stay fabulous, and remember – motherhood is the best adventure, sober or not!