Screens, tantrums and raising a tiny digital dictator

How to balance screen time and real-world connection with toddlers. Practical tips for parents navigating lockdown, tantrums, and technology.

If you’re the parent of a small child, you already know the sound I mean: that shriek, that stomp, that full-on meltdown when the iPad disappears from little hands. In our house, that belongs to Cyrus, our three-foot-tall digital dictator. One minute he’s happily watching a cartoon, the next he’s on the floor, arms flying in the air.

H and I both work from home, so screens are everywhere. Video calls, spreadsheets, emails—the digital world is inescapable. Sometimes, guilt creeps in. Are we raising a tiny tech addict? Is his brain turning into mush? And why do I suddenly care so much about what the World Health Organisation thinks?

The WHO, before Covid, said…

Children under two shouldn’t watch screens at all. Any digital indulgence could contribute to obesity, tantrums, and learning issues. But now, screens are also keeping families connected across continents, bridging lockdowns, and helping children see cousins or grandparents they haven’t met in months. Suddenly, that “digital villain” seems a little less sinister.

One hour unplugged: a miracle in miniature

The solution? One hour a day without screens. Tantrums ease, imaginations bloom, and suddenly, family members actually talk to each other. The easiest way to do it is reading. Cyrus adores reading. He’ll sit quietly, hanging on every word, sometimes demanding “just one more chapter,” knowing full well it’s bedtime soon.

Those quiet moments are bonding rituals, miniature rebellions against a world that wants to digitise everything. Since we started reading regularly, I’ve noticed subtle changes: his vocabulary has grown, his attention span has stretched, and he sleeps better. All wins, no iPad required.

Chatting: an underestimated parenting superpower

Sometimes it’s not even about books. Ten minutes of conversation can work wonders. Ask what’s on their mind and listen without multitasking. You’d be surprised how quickly a child will open up if they feel heard.

Backyard adventures

Children are born explorers. Adults, less so. Take a leaf from their book. Lift a rock. Observe the bugs. Marvel at the ant trail, or the way a slug glides. Nature is literally outside the front door, waiting to teach patience, curiosity, and wonder. My son notices things I used to walk past. Watching him examine a tiny ladybird reminds me that life doesn’t need to be filtered or edited to be astonishing.

Even a five-minute walk in the garden can spark conversations and discoveries that no screen can replicate. During lockdown, we found ourselves measuring time not in hours or minutes, but in little moments of awe: “Look at this hairy caterpillar!” Those questions may seem small, but they teach patience and observation.

Parenting guilt: admit it

Lockdown parenting is messy. We’ve let Cyrus watch an extra episode of a series when work deadlines loomed. We’ve ignored a meltdown because we were exhausted. And that’s okay—acknowledging the guilt is the first step to finding balance.

Balancing the digital and real worlds

Lockdown has amplified digital dependency, yes, but it’s also reminded us of real-world connection. Screens are convenient, but they’re no replacement for story time or the thrill of spotting a beetle under a rock. One book, one chat, one garden adventure at a time, we can reclaim our children’s attention and rediscover some of our own lost wonder for the world.

So yes, the iPad is still there, humming in the corner. And yes, sometimes it wins. But the hour we carve out for real connection is magic. It’s not perfect, but it’s ours. And in a lockdown world, that’s enough.