Why my self-care isn’t optional now over 40

Here I am, 2am, hair in a very sad bun, clutching a lukewarm cup of coffee, and wide-eyed at the tiny human who seems intent on testing the limits of my patience. I thought I’d be fretting over wrinkles and whether I had enough face cream at 40. Nope. Motherhood had other plans.

I feel ridiculously lucky. At 40, becoming a new mum felt like a long shot, a dream I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to live. Some days are exhausting, and messy, but every giggle, every tiny hand gripping mine, reminds me I wouldn’t trade this for the world. There’s a kind of awe in becoming a mum at this stage in life: I know how precious these moments are, how fleeting, and how utterly life-changing.

Not an “oops,” miracle

This little human is no accident. After years of trying (and failing) to get pregnant, I am amazed and grateful every single day that I get to experience this. And yes, there are moments when the exhaustion hits and I think, “How did I get here?”, but those feelings pass quickly. Every morning I wake up to that tiny, scrunched-up face, I feel stunned, humbled, and utterly blessed.

“It’s strange to be a new mum at 40. In my twenties, I might have had Instagram-perfect expectations of parenthood, baby smiling at me, nappy changes painless, and a beautiful glow. Now? Life is messy, unpredictable, and somehow, that’s exactly what makes it perfect.”

Tiny wins, big feelings

Sometimes surviving motherhood is just about a quiet cup of coffee, a hot shower that lasts more than two minutes, or finishing a chapter of a book without interruption. These little wins remind me I’m still me, a woman with interests. But that cuppa is often the only thing keeping me from losing my mind.

I celebrate the tiny moments. A smile from baby Cyrus after a rough morning, a fleeting cuddle when I least expect it, or a nap that coincides with a quiet hour for myself to write this blog, these are golden. They remind me why this late motherhood feels like such a privilege. I’ve waited for this, and now I get to live it, fully and with gratitude.

Coffee and pause

A cup in my hand in the middle of tantrums, nappy blowouts, and early-morning screaming, remind me I am still a person, not just a mum. I have dreams, desires, and the audacity to take a moment for myself. These pauses are just magic.

Baby fashion fun

There’s something deeply satisfying about picking out an outfit that reflects personality, not just function. It’s a reminder that while I’m a mum, I’m also a woman who still loves beauty, humour, and style. Every outfit is a celebration, a tiny moment of creativity, sometimes culture and fun in the middle of the madness.

Bedtime negotiation

Bedtime negotiations and occasional tears (usually mine), but on a positive, the phone’s off, screens away, just the two of us existing together. In my forties, I appreciate these moments more than ever. They remind me that the daytime isn’t all-consuming. These evenings, filled with soft whispers and gentle cuddles, are proof that patience, love, and persistence really do count.

Dance like no one’s watching

Sometimes it’s lullabies, sometimes it’s full-on living room dance-offs, in between the tantrums and tears, dancing reminds me to laugh, let go, and feel alive. I never expected to have this much fun as a new mum in my forties. There’s something liberating about shaking off the stereotypes.

“Forty and fabulous is a mindset. I am not just a mum; I am a woman with stories, quirks, and gratitude for every tiny moment.”

Fabulous at forty

Yes, it’s exhausting. Yes, it’s messy. But it’s also beautiful, and mine. I didn’t expect to be a new mum at 40, and yet, here I am. Every smile, every giggle, every quiet cuddle reminds me I am lucky beyond measure.