Turning 50: not a reset, it’s the same mountain

Today I turn 50. And it’s not a reset button. It’s the same mountain, just with a clearer view of the climbs. However, before I talk about my 50-in-50 plan again, I want to pause for a moment and discuss how my birthday unfolded.

The morning 

Not a conventional birthday, by any stretch. I spent the first hour with a nine-year-old, watching K-pop Demon Hunters. Totally unexpected, but perfect. Life rarely arrives in a neat, celebratory package.

After dropping Cyrus at school and H at work, I swung by Asda for a cake and cupcakes, then detoured to Sweaty Betty for a birthday-legging purchase. Ten minutes later, I arrived at Blaze at David Lloyd. My MyZone belt refused to record anything on my birthday naturally – and then the studio screen went off too. Instead of panic, a chorus of “Happy Birthday” filled the room. It was imperfect, but also very warm and real.

I moved on to Ignite Strike and finished with Zumba. By the last track, my calves were screaming, but satisfaction outweighed discomfort. Coffee with a friend, school-run logistics, and a car-park manicure with 60-second Rimmel polish followed. No spa indulgence, no parties, no gilded birthday clichés, just movement, connection, and quiet gratitude.

“That morning felt like a perfect distillation of everything I’ve built.”

What I’ve already built

1. Motherhood at 40

Becoming a mother at 40 changed everything. Beyond the sleepless nights, it offered an unflinching clarity: time is finite, urgency is real, and nurturing Cyrus while not losing myself has become an ongoing negotiation.

2. A blog born from honesty

Saffron and Cyrus wasn’t birthed from a pristine mood board. It emerged from restless nights, and a stubborn need to write truthfully. Through it, I’ve explored Persian identity, midlife shifts, fitness experiments, and the blur of family life. It’s all real, and it belongs here, with you.

3. Fitness as routine

I began thinking I’d lose a few pounds. What I gained was strength, not just physical but mental. Dumbbells, spin bikes, Blaze circuits, and Zumba tracks have become measures of boundaries, resilience, and the capacity to keep moving even when life feels heavy.

4. Choosing truth over clicks

In a world awash with viral challenges and curated perfection, I chose something quieter: to embrace doubt, struggle, and honesty. My posts may not be glossy, but they’ve found readers who trust them, and that trust is steadier than any fleeting metric of attention.

5. Midlife is not a crisis

We talk a lot about a “midlife crisis.” I prefer “midlife canvas.” Hormonal shifts, aches, bursts of energy, these are brushstrokes, not collapses. Failures, yes, but also colour, shape, and a truer sense of self emerging in unexpected patterns.

Why I designed the 50-in-50 plan

This isn’t a bucket list. It’s a manifesto, a vow to live deliberately. Turning 50 could mean drifting, repeating, plateauing. Or it could be a challenge to explore life. The 50-in-50 plan is my way of choosing the latter.

It’s also an invitation. You need not follow my plan. Perhaps you’ll craft your own, a 30-in-30, a 12-in-12. Growth is not reserved for youth. It is the work of every age.

Highlights so far (mid-birthday report card)

• Leaning into resistance training months ahead of schedule; muscles ache, but they show.
• Learning to say “no”, to late invitations, overcommitment, and what drains me.
• Reclaiming fragments of creative time: early morning writing slots.
• Reconnecting with H’s Persian roots, music, recipes, language, previously pushed aside by busy life.
• Drawing strength from friends redefining purpose, shifting careers, and just daring to start anew.

None of this is perfect. There are days when every step feels heavy. But often, I wake with a quiet surge: one more set, one more paragraph, one more call. That small persistence is enough.

For you, dear reader

On my birthday, I do not want to merely talk at you. I want to invite reflection.

“Real change rarely arrives dramatically. It comes in small, persistent steps that honour who we are becoming.”

So yes, today I turn 50. I do not expect perfection. I expect curiosity, grit, love, and movement. I hope you will walk with me, faltering, laughing, striving, rising.

Let us open the year. Let us grow. Let us become more ourselves.