Celebrating 50 in Crete: my all-inclusive escape to the Mitsis Royal Mare

Travel made surprisingly easy

There’s something about Crete that makes you believe the world might just be slightly kinder. The sun lingers longer, the sea sparkles a shade bluer, and even your complaints feel trivial. Our recent nine-day stay at Mitsis Royal Mare was a celebration of my 50th birthday, a milestone I’d spent a month of fasting preparing for. Packing a bottle of Champagne felt symbolic, and somehow the island seemed to understand that some indulgences are best earned.

A warm welcome (at 3am)

By the time we arrived, it was 3am, that odd hour when your body isn’t sure if it wants sleep, food, or just a moment to sit in silence. Travelling with Jet2 Holidays was smooth, and the transfer from the airport flowed without incident. But while the grown-ups were quietly wilting, Cyrus was just warming up. He quickly realised marble floors and wheeled suitcases were a perfect match. Within seconds, he’d invented his own suitcase-skating contest. Telling him to stop, of course, only made him go faster.

To our surprise, the restaurant buffet was still open, an unheard-of luxury at that hour. Usually, you’re lucky if you find a cold platter in your room, but here, hot moussaka, rice, and vegetables awaited. We ate our fill under soft lighting, grateful and slightly delirious, before a cheerful member of reception staff whisked us to our room in a golf buggy.

Space, style and soft landings

The Mitsis Royal Mare sits gracefully on the northern coast of Crete, a modern nod to Mediterranean elegance. The lobby gleams without pretence, airy and lemon-scented, setting the tone for the rest of the resort.

Our room was generous, with crisp, contemporary décor and a balcony framed by palm trees. Some generic artwork, but no faux coastal clutter, just simplicity. Mornings began with coffee on that balcony, plotting which restaurant we’d tackle during our stay.

All-inclusive ease

This is one of those rare hotels where you unpack once, and suddenly, everything you could possibly need is within reach. The in-room bar was fully stocked, the towels were plush, and the bed demanded lazy mornings. Although, I’ll confess to pouring my first glass of Champagne before breakfast. And possibly my second before 10 am. You only turn 50 once.

Beach bliss and a gull with attitude

If you’re the type who marks your territory with a beach towel at dawn, you’ll be disappointed. The beach attendant here took his job seriously, ensuring everyone had loungers and umbrellas, especially families with little ones. His attentiveness was faultless.

Cyrus, however, was far more entertained by the waves, and by a particularly cheeky gull who took a shine to his hotdog. Bread? Ignored. Sausage? Gone in one snap. By day three, they’d developed what I can only describe as a mutual understanding.

Cats and comedy

Cyrus also loves cats, and this hotel had more than its fair share. While H kept telling him not to touch them, Cyrus seemed magnetically drawn to every feline in sight, one even snoozed on a sun lounger as if it had paid for the all-inclusive.

The hotel shop sells little bags of cat food, encouraging guests to feed them, which I thought was a lovely touch. They became the unofficial entertainment of our trip, particularly when H discovered one sitting serenely on our balcony at 2am. Although his response could probably be heard in Heraklion.

Culinary highs (and a few lows)

Food at the resort was a mixed bag. Breakfast was honest, but the à la carte restaurants didn’t always live up to their hype. The Royal Palm Pan-Asian had ants on the table and a crispy duck that was more chewy than crisp. To make matters worse, a table of enthusiastic Geordies serenaded us with what sounded like ouzo-fuelled karaoke. Bigg Market vibe was not what we were going for.

The Allegro Italian offered decent arancini and tiramisu, though Cyrus’s pizza felt more school holiday treat than fine dining. Candia was the standout, beautifully presented octopus and tuna steaks worth every calorie. Albatross, the beachfront spot, also served calamari so fresh the view almost distracted me from my plate. It’s a pity the bread wasn’t as fresh though! By the time we considered Pacifico, we were simply too full to care.

The main buffet, though, deserves credit. It was themed, varied, and full of Greek favourites. I may have developed a questionable addiction to their creamy moussaka. My inner voice, somewhere between “you fasted for a month” and “you really don’t need seconds” didn’t stand a chance.

Wellness with a wink

For those kidding themselves that they’ll leave fitter than they arrived, there’s a gym, spa, indoor pool….and a fabulous daily aqua aerobics session. Muscles occasionally prefer pampering to punishment, and I wasn’t about to argue with H. I even caught myself flexing in the mirror before realising that lounging is, in fact, a legitimate skill. 

Evening entertainment (plentiful, but…)

The hotel’s evening entertainment was plentiful. There were shows, live music, and themed nights that clearly delighted families and groups alike. That said, it wasn’t always our scene. Some nights, we found the poolside performances a little loud for our tastes, and the “high-energy” shows didn’t always match our midlife, post-dinner pace. We mostly enjoyed the spectacle from a safe distance with a glass of Aperol Spritz in hand.

The invitation to pause

Mitsis Royal Mare is an invitation to pause, breathe, eat too much, and wonder why you don’t do this more often. Luxury here isn’t loud or showy, it’s calm, kind, and a little nostalgic. Even in midlife, there are moments when the world outside can wait, while you enjoy a perfectly chilled glass of Champagne at 3 am, moussaka in hand, utterly unapologetic.

Would we return? Absolutely. Next time, I might leave my phone behind, let the Champagne breathe, and see how long I can pretend that nothing beyond these walls matters. Because indulgence, I’ve learned, tastes even sweeter when you’ve waited, and fasted for it.

For more of my travel tips, head to my For You page.