Every year, as Nowruz approaches, our house becomes a mixture of Persian traditions and everyday British family life. There are preparations for the Haft-Sin table, discussions about what we should eat and, inevitably, a conversation about fish. In many Iranian households, a goldfish is part of the Persian New Year celebrations, and it’s a tradition H remembers from growing up in Iran.

For Cyrus, the prospect of having fish at home was much more exciting than arranging a coffee table full of symbolic objects. He had been looking forward to it for months, and with lockdown still fresh in our minds, the idea of introducing something new into our family routine appealed to all of us.

I had imagined a fairly straightforward family project involving a trip to the pet shop, a few colourful fish and a tank that would look nice in the corner of the room. I hadn’t accounted for the water testing, filtration systems or the huge amount of information available about keeping tropical fish. I also hadn’t appreciated how picky some fish can be about their living arrangements.

H was enthusiastic, Cyrus was already thinking of names, while I was beginning to suspect that we had taken on a little bit more than we intended to.

Nowruz marks the Persian New Year at the spring equinox and celebrates the arrival of spring and the beginning of a new year. It is important in our house because it gives Cyrus another chance to learn about his dad’s culture and the traditions that connect him to his Persian family.

The Haft-Sin table is central to our celebrations. It features seven symbolic items beginning with the Persian letter ‘sin’, alongside other traditional objects. Goldfish are an addition to many tables, although they are not one of the seven ‘sin’ items. They are associated with life and movement, and for many families, they are as recognisable a part of Nowruz as the sprouting sabzeh and painted eggs.

The custom has also prompted questions about animal welfare, especially when fish are bought for the celebrations without much thought about what happens to them afterwards. Mind you, I remember going to the fair when I was young and hooking a plastic duck to win a goldfish. The poor things would be hanging there in tiny plastic bags of water, sometimes for goodness knows how long, waiting for someone to take them home.

Nobody seemed concerned about it at the time. You’d win your fish, carry it around the fairground and eventually take it home, usually to a small bowl on the kitchen side. Looking back, I’m amazed any of them survived, but mine lasted seven years. I’d like to think goldfish today have a better life these days, although the debate around keeping them as part of Nowruz celebrations suggests there’s still room for improvement. We wanted to approach things differently, which is how our plans evolved from a traditional goldfish into a tropical aquarium that would remain part of our home throughout the year.

I’ll admit that my knowledge of tropical fish was limited. I knew they came in beautiful colours, that some were smaller than others and that the tanks in pet shops always looked so peaceful. Beyond that, I was starting from scratch.

Cyrus, meanwhile, was interested in how many fish we could have, whether they would recognise him and what we should call them. Bubbles was an early suggestion, followed by Finsworth, which sounded distinguished for a creature whose daily activities would largely involve swimming and eating dried worm pellets.

I was still trying to understand the difference between guppies, tetras and barbs when I discovered that setting up an aquarium involves just a little bit more than filling a glass tank with water. There were pH levels to consider, chlorine and chloramine to remove from tap water, and something called the nitrogen cycle. I vaguely remembered learning about ammonia and bacteria at school, although I couldn’t recall anyone mentioning that I might one day need this knowledge to keep a handful of fish alive.

H seemed more comfortable with the technical side of things, and Cyrus was happy to leave the practical details to his Baba, provided we would eventually come home with some fish. I was left wondering whether keeping an aquarium was going to become another one of our family activities where H and I did most of the work while Cyrus enjoyed the results.

Fortunately, API Fishcare invited us to a virtual fishkeeping event, which came at a useful point in our preparations. We were introduced to Gary, a fish enthusiast who explained the practicalities of establishing and maintaining a healthy freshwater aquarium.

The session covered water quality, filtration, the nitrogen cycle and the importance of recognising signs of stress in fish. It also helped me understand why apparently clear water isn’t necessarily safe water. I had always assumed that if an aquarium looked clean, everything was probably fine. As it turns out, harmful substances can build up without making the water look unpleasant.

One of the most useful things I learned was that beneficial bacteria play an essential role in breaking down harmful waste. A new aquarium needs time to establish its biological filtration, and regular testing is important, particularly during the early stages. Ammonia and nitrite can be dangerous to fish, which is why preparing a tank properly matters.

Cyrus was fascinated by the testing equipment. He wanted to know why the water changed colour during the tests and how we would know when the aquarium was ready for its new residents. It was rather nice to see him so interested in something that didn’t involve a screen. Like most children, he was keen to get to the exciting part, but he was also beginning to understand that we couldn’t just bring the fish home and hope for the best.

Armed with a little more confidence, we began preparing the tank. H took responsibility for assembling the equipment and setting up the filtration system, while Cyrus helped arrange the plants and decorations.

He was careful about where everything went, moving ornaments around until he was satisfied with the layout. I watched the two of them working together, occasionally offering advice that neither of them appeared to need. H has always been good at practical jobs, and Cyrus was delighted to have something important to do alongside his dad.

API Fishcare had gifted us several products to use, including STRESS COAT, QUICK START and STRESS ZYME. STRESS COAT is a water conditioner designed to make tap water suitable for aquarium use, while QUICK START contains beneficial bacteria intended to support biological filtration. STRESS ZYME is designed to help break down organic waste.

We followed the product instructions and learned how to monitor the water, although these treatments don’t remove the need to establish a properly cycled aquarium. Anyone starting from scratch should test the water and make sure conditions are suitable before adding fish.

Cyrus helped with some of the preparations under our supervision. He was especially interested in measuring the treatments, which gave him an opportunity to practise following instructions and understanding why accuracy matters. It also meant he could tell everyone that he had helped set up the aquarium, something he was understandably proud of.

When it came to choosing the fish, we settled on two cherry barbs, four green tiger barbs and two flying fox fish. Cyrus was delighted with the different colours and markings, and he spent ages watching the fish swimming around the shop tanks.

He wanted to know whether they would get along, which was a sensible question and one that deserves more consideration than we initially realised. I had assumed that fish sold in the same shop would be reasonably compatible, but the reality is rather more complicated.

Looking back, I would encourage anyone planning a community aquarium to research individual species carefully. Tiger barbs can be fin-nippers and are generally better kept in larger groups, while flying fox fish can grow quite large and become territorial. Compatibility depends on several factors, including tank size, water conditions and the behaviour of individual fish.

It’s easy to be distracted by how attractive the fish look in a shop when you have an excited child beside you. But choosing suitable species is one of the most important parts of establishing an aquarium, and it’s worth taking advice from experienced fishkeepers before making a decision.

Cyrus, naturally, was less concerned about compatibility charts and more interested in which fish was going to be Bubbles.

Once the fish had settled, feeding quickly became Cyrus’s favourite job. He loved watching them gather near the surface and was fascinated by how differently they behaved. Some were quick to reach the food, while others seemed happier investigating the plants and decorations.

We used tropical fish flakes and made sure he understood the importance of feeding appropriate amounts. Too much food can affect water quality, so this was one responsibility that required a little supervision. Given the opportunity, I suspect Cyrus would have fed them enough to see them through Christmas. He also began noticing small details about the fish. He watched them closely and developed his own theories about their behaviour, including one particularly memorable observation about their food preferences.

“They seem to like beetroot,” he announced one evening.

I’m not entirely sure where that theory came from, although it led to a conversation about what different animals eat and why we shouldn’t give fish food without checking whether it’s suitable for them. I liked that he was paying attention, even if his conclusions needed a little further investigation.

Naturally, the less exciting jobs remained with the adults. Aquarium maintenance isn’t something I would expect a young child to manage independently, particularly when water changes and electrical equipment are involved. But there were smaller tasks Cyrus could help with, and he enjoyed being included.

I also discovered that fish are considerably messier than their peaceful appearance suggests. Watching them glide around the tank is one thing. Cleaning the filter and checking the water is quite another.

Parents are often told that getting a pet is a good way to teach children responsibility. I’ve always thought this advice needs a fairly substantial qualification. Children may promise to feed, clean and look after their new pet, but adults remain responsible for making sure those things happen. An enthusiastic declaration in a pet shop is not a long-term care plan, however convincing it might sound at the time.

What I noticed with Cyrus was that responsibility developed through taking part in the routine. He learned when the fish needed feeding, why we checked the water and why it was important to notice if something seemed wrong. He couldn’t manage the aquarium himself, but he could contribute to looking after it.

I think that’s a more realistic way of introducing children to caring for animals. It gives them an opportunity to take part without expecting them to take on responsibilities they aren’t ready for. There is also something satisfying about watching a child take pride in a job, however small.

The aquarium gave us something to do together, too. H enjoyed the practical side of maintaining the equipment, Cyrus liked observing the fish, and I found myself learning about a subject I would probably never have explored otherwise.

It wasn’t quite the effortless family hobby I had imagined, but we all became involved in our own ways.

I wouldn’t describe tropical fish as easy pets, especially for beginners. A healthy aquarium depends on suitable equipment, consistent maintenance and an understanding of the species living in it. There is also an initial financial commitment, with the tank, filter, heater, lighting, testing equipment and ongoing supplies all adding to the cost.

For anyone considering setting up a freshwater aquarium, I would recommend researching the fish before buying them, including their adult size, social needs and compatibility with other species. It’s also important to establish the nitrogen cycle, condition tap water appropriately and test ammonia, nitrite, nitrate and other relevant water parameters.

Feeding needs some thought as well. Different fish have different dietary requirements, and giving them too much food can cause problems with water quality. Regular maintenance is essential, even when the aquarium looks perfectly clean.

Above all, I would suggest taking your time. It’s tempting to buy everything at once, especially when children are excited, but preparing the aquarium properly is far more important than bringing the fish home quickly.

One of the things I enjoy about raising Cyrus in a British-Persian household is seeing how our family traditions develop over time. We celebrate Nowruz, enjoy Persian food and music, and talk about the customs H remembers from his childhood in Iran. Some traditions we follow closely, while others take on a slightly different form.

Our tropical aquarium was one of those occasions when a cultural custom became the starting point for something new. For H, the fish were connected to a celebration he had known since childhood. For Cyrus, they were creatures with individual personalities that needed looking after. Both interpretations had a place in our family.

I think that’s important when raising children with more than one cultural heritage. It isn’t always about recreating every tradition exactly as it was. Sometimes it’s about explaining where a custom comes from and allowing children to develop their own relationship with it.

As someone who didn’t grow up celebrating Nowruz, I’ve learned a great deal about Persian culture through H. Some of it comes from the larger celebrations, the food, the music and the gatherings with family. Other things come from ordinary conversations at home, often prompted by something Cyrus wants to know.

I like the fact that he can grow up enjoying British traditions alongside Persian ones without feeling that he has to choose between them. Our home has always been a mixture of the two cultures, and the aquarium became another small part of that.

Cyrus may not remember every detail of our Haft-Sin table, but I suspect he’ll remember helping Baba H prepare the aquarium and watching the fish explore their new home.

Yes, although I would spend longer researching the fish before choosing them and make sure we had a clear understanding of the ongoing maintenance involved.

Keeping tropical fish has been an interesting experience for all three of us. Cyrus enjoyed having a role in caring for the aquarium, H took pleasure in setting everything up, and I discovered that fishkeeping is a surprisingly technical hobby. I also developed a new appreciation for people who manage to maintain those beautiful, spotless aquariums you see in specialist shops. There is a lot of work going on behind the glass.

I wouldn’t recommend buying fish just to keep a child entertained. Fish need suitable living conditions, regular care and owners who are prepared to maintain their environment properly. But for families willing to put in the time, an aquarium can be an interesting way to introduce children to animal care and the natural world. It gives them something to observe, questions to ask and practical jobs they can help with.

I also learned that a child who can lose interest in tidying his bedroom within minutes can spend a great deal of time watching a small fish investigate a plant. I still haven’t worked out how to transfer that level of concentration to putting toys away.

What I remember most is watching Cyrus and H setting up the tank together. Cyrus was so pleased to be involved, especially when he could help with something that felt important. It was one of those afternoons that probably wouldn’t mean much to anyone else, but which I suspect I’ll remember for years.

I hope Cyrus grows up with an appreciation of the Persian traditions we share at home. I also hope he understands that bringing an animal into the family means looking after it properly, even when the initial excitement has worn off.

As for me, I’ve learned considerably more about tropical fish than I ever expected to know. I can now discuss water conditioners, beneficial bacteria and filtration systems with a degree of confidence that would have surprised my younger self.

I’m still not convinced the fish recognise us, although Cyrus seems certain they know when he’s coming. And I still think Finsworth is an excellent name for a fish.