A beginner’s guide to lifting weights for women who feel out of place in the gym
Welcome
If you’re here, you probably want to feel stronger than you are now.
You probably want to feel capable again, but not obsessed.
You probably want your body to feel strong again.
That’s what this is for.
This is not a transformation.
This is a return.
My ‘Why’
I am not naturally brave in gyms. I am brave in other places. I have a child late in life, I run a household, I hold space for other people’s feelings, I show up when my brain feels like mush. But the weights room can still sometimes stop me in my tracks.
It is always full of young people who look fit, like they have never known a hot flush or a bad night’s sleep in their life. I arrive with the hope that no one will ask me how many sets I have left.
For a long time I stuck to classes. They felt safer, sociable and somewhere I was ‘allowed’ to be. And then I realised that while cardio was keeping me busy, it was not keeping me strong.
Strong is what lets me carry all the weekly shopping. Strong is what lets me lift my son up to bed when he’s tired. Strong is what makes my body feel like an ally rather than a project.
So I started lifting weights in the least dramatic way possible. Quietly. On the machines and at my own pace with a notebook and a sense of rebellion. And then others who were feeling the same as me joined me.
This guide, and everything in it, exists because I know I am not the only woman who feels like this. So I wanted to create something to help others like me.
Who this is for
This guide is for you if:
- You are between 45 and 65 and feel physically out of step with how you used to feel.
- You have avoided the weights area because the gym feels intimidating, young, or performative.
- You want clear, simple guidance without being shouted at.
- You want to feel steady in your body again.
How to use this guide
Read it once through at home.
Then take it to the gym.
You do not need to be perfect.
You just need to be consistent.
Three sessions a week is enough.
The mindset
You are not behind.
You are not broken.
You are not late.
Midlife is not the end of strength. It’s the moment strength starts to matter.
Why lifting matters now
Strength training:
- Preserves muscle and bone
- Supports joints and balance
- Improves metabolism and blood sugar control
- Supports mental health and confidence
- Makes daily life easier
It’s not about changing how you look.
It’s about changing how you live.
What’s inside:
Part 1: The permission slip
- Why lifting matters after 45 (bones, hormones, confidence, independence)
Part 2: The gym decoded
- What the machines actually do (plain English)
- How to choose your first weights without ego or embarrassment
Part 3: Your first four weeks
- A simple 3x per week plan
- Reps, sets, rest, and how to know when to increase
Part 4: Staying in it
- How to build the habit when motivation is patchy
- What to do when hormones wobble, energy dips, or life interferes
- How to track progress that isn’t a scale
Part 5: Common fears